The Fact of Weed: Double Edged

A personal story of what really happens when you smoke

So last night, as I was minding my own business from a somewhat typical day’s work, I found myself drinking a smoothie around 9 or 10pm last night. I being one that loves to going outside, drank my smoothie outside and I noticed someone hanging out in their parked car next-door listening to music and somewhat vibing to the sound they were playing in their car. Without judging what this person was really up to, I minded the business of this someone and was about to go inside when the person reached out to me to relate what I was drinking, in a somewhat slurred speech.

I walked down closer to him right before entering my house and tried to avoid speaking too loud as my god mother was preparing to go to bed as he said: “what are you drinking there, is that beer your drinking” as he shows me his can of beer he is drinking from inside his car. I respond back to him: “this is a smoothie, not beer.” Because I got so close, he couldn’t help but respond something polite back saying something along the lines of “what’s up bro.” I quickly found out that his social anxieties were broken and allowed him to speak more “freely”, but I use quotes here to project that he could have been quite delusional.

He mentioned one thing to me about suffering and if we really had to suffer in life, having to oblige taking care of a family and perhaps questioning himself having to be always involved. Not incredibly sure where we was coming from, I followed back with how I usually think, basing my talking points on how every deed to stay alive on this planet, while capitalism is doing is in place, almost requires you to obey certain conditions setup where you have no choice but to suffer in order to survive.

This is where something unexpected happened

I went on to tell him that we as human beings, have the capacity to make a shift in our mind to not allow the pressure of the world to get to us. I understand it’s one thing to say, but to actually live it is another thing. I know this statement that I just made is also a big cliché out there, but I followed through to say that everything in life is what we make it, even though it doesn’t seem that way when the world is piling on your mind, there is still another direction up,

He really enjoyed what I had to say whether that was because I was not pushing him away and just bonding with him or perhaps maybe he understood what I was saying on a very deep level. But soon enough he offered me a hit out of his wax (condensed weed) electric pen (cigarette) in which I responded with sure. I took a big drag and coughed a little and even though it had been years, I went on to continue talking about how taking the risks in life for a soul filled purpose rather than going along with what is secure can sure change the world for someone, especially if that someone is you!

He mentioned something about his family and him having relationship issues, he was quite mad, and though I didn’t inquire very deep. We shook hands a couple a times generally because when you are high, you want to bond with others in a way that goes because typical norms of giving each other excess social boundries. But as I was flowing with my love for the topic in this situation, while even before I took a hit noticed some bodily tremblings which happens sometimes when I talk to people even though psychologically I am not really scared, I noticed I was beginning to fade.

It was at that moment that I noticed while talking that I lost my train of thought very very quickly. Now I don’t mean this in a bad way, but it became very hard for me to think in an expanded awareness, because I…. all of a sudden realized that my basic reasoning skills fractured in spite of the idea of multiple things, but one was us being kind of loud talking in what is normally a neighborhood bedtime. But it was still kind of early and that didn’t really matter so much, but I began to notice that I had not thought of how others could be affected by how loud we were in the front driveway.

This is where I became somewhat anxious because then I thought within my newly transformed headspace that there are other things I could be missing from my awareness that could throw me off center even though speaking from a mostly clear mind now, that some hours had passed and that it’s now morning, there really wasn’t much that could go wrong at that evening time. I did realize I was somewhat dizzy, but really from experience of smoking a lot in my past, I had the experiential confidence to stay there for a little while longer, instead of kind of running away as some might have done.

The Incredible Judgement of Doing Something “Bad”

As we remained talking for a little while longer, I realized that it perhaps was best to go and secure myself to bed after realizing how faded I was from my faculty senses. I did offer my number to him if he wanted and he just wanted someone to talk to and said in his body language and his interest to keep talking that he would be happy with being friends afterwards, but I forgot to reach out after I was high. But was I really high or was I low? I won’t answer this for a variety of reasons that are so complex, but I firmly believe that who I am or was or will ever be is something that cannot be defined to a label or standard that we as humans love to judge each other by.

But as I soon went up to him and shook his hand signaling that it was my time to go, he wished me his most kind and sincere goodbye as I did the same back to him. I was overwhelmed at how unconscious I was and yet so conscious I was in repsect to evaluating articulately how the real world was passing me by as it is — most especially though, in relation to high human standards (this could have been an unconscious thought, sorry if it doesn’t make sense). So anyways I wen’t inside my house and realized I could easily make some obnoxious noise with the state of mind that I am in and how careless I could easily be, so I immediately told myself it’s time to begin going downstairs (where I sleep), to avoid waking up my god mother.

I turned out all the lights and made sure I had to clean my smoothie container before I went down, which in the process of doing that, I noticed that I had no correlation to time and I couldn’t really tell how much time went by as I was cleaning it thinking that I could have been doing this for an hour without realizing it, which is kind of funny. But eventually, however long it took me (don’t think it was too long but it was longer than normal the way I was pausing at some of the thoughts I was having), I eventually went downstairs for something even bigger to happen—in particular perception (of course!).

Source, the Gods, and an Inseparable Experience

Now I realize I can easily make this part of the story very long, but I am choosing not to do this, as I know for many of you, quick and simple is what you can handle right now and I perfectly understand.

So I will start out by saying that I have a high level of awareness when it comes to understanding the world as it is from a somewhat scientific viewpoint, but mostly from a spiritual lens which in the truth, they are both one in the same when you understand the deeper realities of life. So as I was processing my newly found state with the previously achieved consciousness that I had, I realized how easily a person can be taken over by manipulative energies that could easily be debated, as immaterial. But without going super deep on that, I will proceed here.

Over the past 6 hours but especially over the first two hours of me staying awake till about 12am, I went through countless awe abiding moments of wonder and epiphany. And going off of the former paragraph, I realized how the forces and individuals with a manipulative intent can so easily convince the masses of people that there are no real negative forces that are trying to take your energy to further feed not just the capitalistic world, but also the unseen world to stay unseen.

I had the complete realization and a wave of compassion hit me like no other time in my life to why everything in the world was happening the way it was, even though I may or may not mention that there is no complete understanding from the words and concepts our human conditioned minds can experience, because relativity is the biggest component to the lives of most people. And there are some distinct things that I will not say here because many people won’t be able to believe it, but from all the stories of mythical lore throughout time and history, I had a piercing experience that knew for certain that there are definite other forces at play here which is all I will say on this point.

The Point of No Return

As some people might interpret this title part, I did return back to a much higher level of logic based awareness, but as I am typing this, I am still very cognizant of many of the truths that I experienced. One of them was that we are never separated from source or whatever you want to call this thing which really has no words or images for us to conceive except for some of the very judgmental images that a male dominated religious and atheistic society have come up with.

I realized that even though we can experience a complete oneness with the creator or creation (ourself), that while on earth everyone is prone to being hit over and over with the lie that we are not all connected and how we are all distinctly and scientifically proven separate beings. But each time I experienced many times over that connection last night and to this even moment, I realized there is always a limit to how deep that connection to be even though those limits can be stretched to many degrees. I realized so long there are people projecting division or duality in the world, our most central part of us will want to understand a little bit of why a person or people do this. When ever you try to understand duality or division, you allow yourself to be so vulnerable to the mechanisms of ideas themselves that you can just as easily be pulled in the other direction of believing it’s all a lie no matter how great some of the experiences you have had are.

This is the idea that really threw me in for a surprise, that we can know for a full fact in one moment that we are totally connected and then in the next moment forget this and actually believe it’s not true. My mind grew a little tense because I could not fathom how could it be possible for the laws of creation to be built in such a way, where you have some a universal experience and then right afterwards experience such a separate experience. One filled with so much kindness and compassion for all life and the other filled with darkness, despair, and unknown vengeance to prove the opposite, but I speculate now that in some form, this opposite, was also to create a new experience in creation or as creation itself, rather than a robotic byproduct of a simulation reality where we are all clones that have no inseparable will,(sorry if I have confused you).

Going to Try to Conclude Now

One out of the two last things I realized is that when you believe you are connected to everything and everyone, you have the capacity to keep believing in this in higher and higher degrees, but would not say there is a limit to that experinece. But the somewhat scary, but speaking judgmentally in a way, of believing in how everything is separated can also be built upon by its basic mechanism rooted in all beliefs…. that no other reality can be perceived within any belief system unless the individual makes the decision to let go of the belief system.

So basically in other words, I can’t tell you through words or any amount of beliefs that can guarantee your decision to want to let go of your belief system except by challenging my and your own beliefs. Seems a little counterintuitive but that is really all I can say for now. I could not help but notice that when I felt completely connected to everything, that I had to at some point choose to give something back to others in order to experience the full joy or love in which I had before. And in order to give something back to others you have to do it in some form of a relatable way which often times requires having knowledge of evil and how evil works which when you understand evil, can always use a certain belief to pull you back into its seeming “reality” it always suggests it is.

I now see why perhaps in ancient civilizations, there was some possible intrigue with hallucinogenic substances used in the process of initiation for various mystery schools designed for the organization and assistance of consciousness to continually transcend itself, consciousness or awareness (the world view and beliefs systems of people), to continually reach more unique and in depth points of experience. But now at the same time I see how, with this age of entertainment our society lives in, and even many ways with how the spiritual communities live, often use things so co-dependently to think that there is an objectionable source that can always guarantee a transcended experience which is a lie that weed or any other drug can ever do.

Love is blind, but when you understand much of the hippie love out there, you can say it is a form of love, but it is still very judgmental of people who believe we should understand how evil or narcissism works in society and in history. Many people who choose to live the hippie love life are often denying themselves not of endless conspiracy theories where there is always some overwhelming and overpowering force that has “doomed society”, but that there are tactics used by narcissistic forces that get people to try to believe in this, and I think that has a lot to do with the suffering religion has created through the years, even to the extent of labeling certain substances as bad, also science and or government doing a bit of the same thing. But I will say that these substances can be easily overused and cause long-lasting impairments if one is not very careful in this day and age, but the trick is not to be so careful you become a puritan aesthetic who believes it could never be a positive experience.

Weed is not bad, the manipulative forces that use weed to use you are not bad, free will and thinking anyone is bad isn’t even bad in itself, but when things begin to be tough (I am extremely careful not to use the word bad here, but even that wouldn’t be bad Lol x a billion), it is usually because we stop considering how certain people, beings, and forces are using new tactics beyond the material world, to try to control people, but it doesn’t mean you can always be controlled even if you use the substance, but again, will you then be convinced by the forces who will speak to you, of all sorts of things, but one especially is, that you need to continually use, to be enlightened or that you should never ever do it to become enlightened AND EVEN (drum roll please *dududududdududududdudududdudududdu*) the fact that there is some ultimate form of enlightenment that can be what takes away all your worries forever as a open choice for people to have.

Thank you and I don’t even need to say why and I don’t even need to say thank you because you don’t need to be thanked in order for you to have a transcendent time on this floating rock in space. You are the one that chooses that for yourself not me and yet we are one in the same. What a game, what a play, what a LIFE!

I love you and most certianly love you beyond all beliefs for what anyone including myself beleives what we think love actually means.